15 - Her Strong Will

If there is a positive side to all of this, it’s that my mother had to develop a strong will and was able to overcome such dire adversity. Her strong will and personality is what helped her get through this and much more. But it also has hindered some development.

For example, her strong will have prohibited her from really enjoying a relationship with a man. She frowns upon and will not accept anything a man has to say. She refuses to acquiesce to any requests and even less a demand from any man. She has been married three times and all three times it has resulted in utter catastrophe.

You, my discerned reader, might say that she is an independent woman, a modern woman, a woman that does not put up with anyone's crap. And you would be right. However, what I see is a lonely woman and one that is going to grow old with no companion.

Having a companion, a close associate, is not the same as having your kids about you. I'm not just talking in the intimate sense, which is important but as a close confidant, someone to go on vacations with. So, I am saddened for her, for her future, for her happiness, for the empty part of her heart that should belong to some lucky man.

Life is always full of unpredictable outcomes and detours. My mother has shouldered much in life, things in which many of us would have given up long ago. She has been a living "life lesson" on how to go on, how to cope and endure. It also appears to me that women of that generation had a sturdier composition and a true fighting spirit. Maybe it’s because they didn’t have, as many advantages as we do or modern conveniences but I do know they had to have a strong will to survive.

I also look at my wife’s own mother, Marie. She endured her own brand of abuse for years; the loss of a child, discrimination, economic oppression and still she is the epitome of comfort to others, self reliance and a genuinely great person to be around.

I have been blessed, because to know one person with such enduring and strengthening qualities is a lifetime achievement but I have had the good fortune to know two! However to talk about my wife’s family, requires a sequel to this book. In their own right, their history is as colorful, entertaining and heart breaking as mine.